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Category Archives: creator

I think every Christian that is truly saved goes through “darker” or silent times in their communicating with God.  I have noticed that the people who say that they were “saved once” or tried the “Jesus thing”, never were saved to begin with.  How do I know this?  They never come back to Christ and do not seem to have any intention of ever doing so in the future.

What I am saying is that true Christians fall.  And they fall very hard at times.  BUT, they come back to God’s open, waiting arms.  I went through this silent period over the past few months.  I felt that when I prayed, when and if I did, I felt as though I was praying to a wall.  Or the air.  My prayers felt so empty, like God did not hear or want to listen to me. 

As far as I was concerned, He should not listen to me.  I do not deserve anything from God.  What have I ever done for Him?  Sinned?  A backslider, a thief, a liar, someone who sits on their calling and not using it to glorify Jesus Christ – what do I deserve?

Death.  Hell.  Nothing.

When God is silent, I think that a Christian who believes – truly believes, learns.  I have learned that silence from God is greater than any wisdom that man could ever speak.  I know that falling as many times as I have is just more for me to gain in my experience with my Christian walk, jog, sprint, stop, walk, run….

Something else I learned through my listening in silence:

This world just bombards us with straight crap.  Most “church shows” bring the same kind of crap wrapped up in the “anointing”.  I thank God for the most needed tool in the Christian fight today – discernment.  My conscience screams at me when I feel that a preacher or something I read stinks with false teaching.  Praise God for that ability to feel and see these things. 

I hate the world and most things I see really irk me, but the stuff that so-called Christians are pulling today just makes me sick to my core.  Jesus warned of it…well it is here in full bloom.  BUT, I am not casting any stones.  I would be the last that would even dare pick one up.  I just pray that the Holy Spirit pierces their hearts with His sword of Repentance as He did mine.

I tend to wonder if most of these “religious people” who have been corrupted by money, power, etc… have ever been saved by Christ but have fallen away?  Or have they never known Christ in the first place?  Sad to think about it, but it is God’s hands (obviously) and not mine.  I do pray for these people at times – bout all you can do anymore.

As I digress or better still, I ramble, I just want to get back to the glory, pain, frustration and beauty of God’s “silent treatment”.  Many people use this on others.  Someone does or says something to hurt you – you give them the silent treatment until they beg for your forgiveness.  See where I am going here don’t you?  I have hurt God so many times I am surprised that He speaks to me at all. 

He loves me.  I still do not know why, but He does.  Even through silence.  What an amazing Father we have!

I learn through hearing or seeing nothing. Don’t think God can break you?  Go ahead and test that theory and get back to me would ya?  I have been broken – very hard and deserved every bit of it.  The silence, that void where you do not feel God’s presence, it is such a horrible, indescribable feeling that just sickens you to the core of your substance.  I really do not want to go through that again.

Christ’s grace is much more sufficient than I could ever hope for.  It would not matter if I did not want it, ask for it, or reject it.  That would not matter.  Jesus Christ gave it – so it is mine.  Wow. 

I was able to listen in silence.  I finally turned from my own hearing and thoughts and listened to my Spirit and my Soul.  They were screaming for God to rescue me.  Screaming for God to bring me back to Him.  Screaming to fill them again with His Holy Spirit.  Screaming for Jesus to dust off my heart.  Screaming to save me from myself.

I missed Him so much. 

Resurrection.

Repentance.

Redemption.

Jesus my Savior.

 

DG 2009


The Second Law of Thermodynamics
says all things fade and diminish.
Only does Christ say, “I make all things new”,
as eternal life is brought forth, replenished.

That God enabled this life to begin,
to grow and nurture; He will end this.
That the fruits I have gained,
seeds I have sown, by His grace I will reap at the finish.

They say beauty “is in the eye of the beholder.”
No, I say, beauty is in the eye of our Creator.
It is not subjective, but is in His perspective,
fashioned from the omniscient hands of our Maker.

Jesus.

I cannot remember the last time, a past time,
when I held you.
I cannot linger on what you bring here,
this joy that I cling to.

I have knelt weeping, unbroken keeping,
this covenant you gave me.
With my heart raised and my eyes glazed,
I can feel what you have done to me.

I see you looking over the edge, and you,
you just keep shaking your head.
Is there room in there for me?
When there have been greater there before me.

Will I reach to touch the fingertips?
Will I see words breathe from your lips?
So come what may become of me,
what are theses images that I see?

In my hollow, you will follow,
to take back the soul that I borrowed.
Illuminating, always chasing,
for it is my life that you are saving.

Images of you within me

The pillow soft embrace.
The love upon your face.
Your merciful hands wrapped around my heart.

The endless forgiveness.
The miracles never rest.
Unseen, but within me, never afar.

In the loudest voice I say,
I pray for the day.
No matter how long it takes,
I will wait…

For the Finisher of Faith.

The truth cannot be seen with souls eyes unopened.
Much knowledge is gained from words less spoken.
His shadow quietly, silently overcomes.
Will my heart, soul, and mind remain as one?

I am embraced, overwhelmed, and gracefully enraptured.
Does this stirring in my soul mean I am captured?
This eternity, infinity, and much longer than forever.
Is this the time frame that God sees us together?

You are the tree that shades me,
from the fears that besiege me.
From this darkness that inhibits my day.

Your amnesty flows like the oceans,
as I go through the motions.
Knowing all of this will soon pass away.

My burden is a feather,
but I feel my body has been severed.
From this weight, I cannot take anymore.

The chances that I fate,
the trials that I take,
these labyrinths always lead to your door.

Christ’s body was thin,
but He was conqueror of men.
His book of destiny, love abides for all time.

There are answers for the listen,
Heaven for submission.
For His fate governs our hearts and our minds.